Saturday, October 4, 2008

It's a love/hate relationship with Vegas

Manya, Hanni, Devra, Mom and I are heading to Las Vegas this coming weekend. We are celebrating belated birthdays for Hanni and Devra, Mom's birthday, and Bette Midler. The Divine Miss M. Bette Midler herself, in the flesh! I am very excited! Very very excited! Also if the weather is nice enough I plan on laying at the pool, and maintaining a nice cocktail buzz the entire weekend. That's one great thing about Vegas, drinking is not only tolerated- it's encouraged- all day long! 

Now, Vegas is not all rainbows and lollipops, there is a dark side. It starts with all the weird impersonator shows. Below is a show that is going on right now in Sin City, "Barbara and Frank." This is targeting all the old Jewish women who flock to Vegas for the discounted early bird buffets. An evening full of Barbra Streisand and Frank Sinatra hits. Pretty sick stuff- and yes, I am trying to get tickets....
How do magicians and illusionists (as they prefer to be called) make a living in this day and age? By charging $50 a ticket for a tired show with props from the '80's and washed up meth head assistants at The Excalibur Hotel. These corny magic shows have a cushy home in Las Vegas. They are so weird. These shows fall into the bizarre/depressing appeal of Vegas. 
Another awful thing about Vegas are the people. 
Also, when you walk down the strip there are millions of little flyers for call girls. Someone sketchy passes them out, and then everyone throws them on the ground. I guess as guys walk around with those tall neon margarita cups getting wasted, they pick up flyers like the one below and call them up for a good time. Hey honey, meet me at The Excalibur! Disgusting.
Now that I have purged myself of everything I hate about Vegas, let's have a moment for Bette Midler. October 11th at Caesar's Palace- it's you and me baby!  
Las Vegas has a beautiful history with Burlesque! Amazing. 
I love fake-tanned men on steroids who play dress up and take off their clothes for horny women all over the world willing to cough up 60 bucks! See you on Friday boys!!
Those amazing men from down-under! We love you! That better be me this weekend! 
Ahhhh... and of course the famous Las Vegas showgirls. The feathers, the headpieces, the legs, the boobies- what's not love!?!?

1 comment:

Devra said...

SOOOOO excited!!!! Vegas '08 BRING IT ON!